The Unselfish Way to Send Out Bridal Shower Invitations
Posted 06/10/09
Bridal showers used to have a legitimate role in the right of passage of a woman. I once read that the bridal shower was began in Holland. A woman fell in love with a miller, who was poor because he always gave to the needy. When the father of the young woman learned the two wished to marry, he protested by refusing to put up a dowry. The couple decided that love was greater than wealth and still wished to marry. All the people who had previously been helped by the miller decided to return the favor. The couple was showered by gifts. The community did not need to receive bridal shower invitations to know to bring them a toaster; they were all just moved to help. Others say the United States was the birthplace of the shower. Perhaps "shower" refers to the Victorian custom of placing gifts in a parasol, so when opened, gifts would shower down on the recipient. No matter the origins, the shower was a way to replace the dowry or trousseau.The bridal shower tradition continues in the 2000s from the origins of the late 1800s. The current version of the bridal shower seems to be an American and Canadian custom. The current custom seems to be a greedy version of its former self. Most engaged couples today do not need to make up for basic necessities, as in the past. Yes, in some cases, the bride and groom are fresh out of high school or college and do not have basic things. The people feeding the high end bridal shower frenzy, however, are people who already have the basic necessities. I have received countless bridal shower invitations for friends who are well established and combining two households. One friend even said, "This is an opportunity to get some new dishes and better stemware." That, my friends, is not the appropriate use of the bridal shower.
Please do not misunderstand, I fully support celebrating anything and everything. I think it is completely appropriate to get your friends and loved ones together to help you celebrate your bride or groom status. What you should not expect is for those people to buy you lots of new things, just because you are getting married. Usually, the same people who receive bridal shower invitations are the same people who will receive wedding invitations. We all love to be part of wedding celebrations. We should not be on the hook to help the bride and groom redesign their kitchen ensembles.
Couples should keep some perspective when planning these things. Couples who are genuinely starting out can fill up their registry with a clean conscience and have a traditional baby shower. If, however, you are a double income couple with two of everything already, then let your guests off the hook. Remember that those same guests will be giving the bride and groom a wedding present. Those future newlyweds should use their collective imagination and offer something different. Send out some bridal shower invitations that invite friends and family to stock your bar (everyone brings a bottle of wine or accessories), or to a garden party where everyone brings their favorite annual or perennial. Your prospective guests will be overjoyed to receive bridal shower invitations to help celebrate without feeling the heavy obligation of lots of expensive gifts.
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